Happy Birthday
by Quiet Leaf
Summary: "Oh Brother, you remembered!" Truth frowned. "Remembered what?" "My Birthday!" Ed goes through the Gate to bring back Al. At the same time, Harry is hit once again by the Killing Curse. Two-Shot.
1. Chapter 1

Edward Elric stood once again in that blank, empty space, the Gate looming above him.

"Welcome back, Mr. Al-che-mist!"

Truth.

The alchemist turned to face him-it? Whatever. "This white stuff is nothing, and basically everything, right?"

The Universe's grin faded ever so slightly. "Yes, why?"

"Hm . . . well, this might actually work." He clapped his hands and pressed them to . . . whatever he was standing on. And thus, the Great Table was created. Three more claps and two chairs were added - along with a birthday cake. Truth really didn't get that part. Instead of trying to figure out what was going on, it decided to watch Ed as he continued around the room, putting up what looked like party decorations. "Hey Al, where are you?"

The brother stepped out from behind the Gate. "Here. Oh Brother, you remembered!"

Truth frowned. "Remembered what?"

"My Birthday!"

Truth, um, blinked, I suppose, then seemed to grow whiter, by some miracle. "Are you telling me you're throwing a party in my domain?" it all but shouted. "You can't!"

"Why not? Is it against the law of the universe?"

"No, but-"

Ed sighed. "To tell the truth, pun not intended, bringing Mom back to life was also a Birthday present. But you interfered with the light show, crashed the party, and made it so Al wasn't able to have Birthday cake for several years. So I promised him that when we got his body back, we'd throw a party, and he could eat all the cake he wanted. And this just happens to be his Birthday, so why not throw a party up here? Or down, wherever this place is." He clapped his hands together. "Here are some clothes, Al." He tossed his brother the material and a cone-shaped hat that had 'Birthday Boy' written on it.

"Thanks, Brother!"

All the Truth could do was stare at the scene unfolding before him.

"So, any drinks you'd like to try, Al?"

"Hm . . . I think I'll just have water."

A few minutes later, You snapped out of it and checked its planner. He had a meeting with one Harry Potter in exactly a minute. With a snap of her fingers, he transformed into the image of Albus Dumbledore and the white expanse changed to looked vaguely like Kings Cross station in London. All turned to Ed and Al. "You, keep quiet. I'm getting a visitor right about . . . now."

And then Harry Potter appeared.

After a moment of standing around, some robes appeared near the boy, which he promptly put on. A whimpering creature lay nearby. After a few more minutes of dawdling, the so-called god-turned-Albus spoke up. "You cannot help."

Harry spun around. "Dumbled-?"

"Hey, scrawny kid!"

Harry's head snapped in Ed's direction.

"Yeah, you."

Truth sighed in exasperation, and Harry glanced between it and Ed before walking in the Elrics' direction. "You wanted to see me?"

"Yeah. You see, my brother is able to eat for the first time in years." He jerked his head in the direction of a very malnourished looking kid. "And today happens to be his Birthday, so we're having a party. I guess it could also be celebrating the fact that I just defeated this guy who was trying to become god."

Harry blinked. "I'm just about to defeat a Dark Lord who's attempting to become immortal and take over the world, so I suppose we're in similar situations."

The blond kid smirked. "I'm Edward Elric, this is Alphonse." He gestured in his brother's direction.

"Harry Potter."

"So, are you joining the celebrations?" Alphonse asked.

Harry glanced back at Dumbledore, who, to his shock and surprise, had become a strange, genderless white thing outlined in black, which was now sighing. Again.

"Don't worry, I figured this might happen, so I froze your time. No one's going to die."

The Boy Who Lived turned back to the table, which now had a third chair.

"Take a seat. What drink do you want?"

He sat down and searched his mind for something. "Um, Butterbeer?"

Edward gave him an odd look. "Beer . . . made with butter. . . ?"

"Uh . . . maybe pumpkin juice instead?"

"Sure." With a clap of Ed's hands, there was a glass of orange-colored liquid on the table in front of him. "Thank you, but how did you do that? Creating food and drink is against Gamp's Law of Transfiguration, or something like that."

"I just used alchemy. Don't you have that?"

Harry nodded. "Of course, it's a form of magic. There's a class for it at Hogwarts, I think."

Ed gave him another weird look. "Magic? No, no no no. Alchemy is science, and science alone. Maybe 'magic' is just your word for alchemy."

This conversation was interrupted by the World. "I guess I have nothing better to do than join you," he said, checking her planner again. "So I will."

"No you won't," Edward replied firmly. "You're a bastard and I won't let you ruin the light show again."

One pouted. "But I'm lonely! There's nothing to do up here other than greet people and send them to the afterlife or let them live. Or steal their limbs." It sent a pointed glance at the automail leg attached to Elric the Older's self.

Feeling sorry for the powerful being, Al turned to face his brother with watery eyes. Ed seemed unable to resist after that.

"Fine, you can join, but no dragging us into the Gate or ruining the light show, okay?"

"Fine."

Al smiled. "Come on, World Universe God Truth All One Me! Do you want something to drink? . . . Are you able to drink?"

World Universe God Truth All One Me huffed. "Of course I can, I have a mouth, don't I?"

The boy tipped his head. "Good point. So, what do you want to drink?"

Truth shuffled his and Ed's feet. "To tell the truth, pun not intended, I've never actually drunk anything before. I haven't needed to."

"Well, I recommend Butterbeer," Harry supplied.

"Water's good."

"Have some orange juice."

The Universe sighed. Again again. "How about I just take all three?"

"Sounds great!" Al cheered.

Once One had tasted all three, she gave his verdict. "I don't like water."

Al looked surprised. "But you're the world, you're covered in it!"

"I'm tired of water. And most of that is salty, anyway. The taste lingers in my mouth all the time, literally."

Ed stood and stretched. "I think it's about time I started the light show. Could you make it dark?"

One snap of the fingers later they were plunged into complete blackness.

"Dammit, you didn't have to make it so dim! I can't see!" There was a clap and some chalk appeared. It could be seen because of the light emanating from Harry's wand. He wasn't sure when it had gotten there, but since it was available he decided to use it.

"Thanks, Harry."

A few minutes later they were watching colorful lightning shooting up into the . . . sky? When did that get there? There were also lights that weren't in the form of electricity trying to reach the ground but going up instead.

"Wow, Ed, this is just like that time we tried to bring Mom back to life. That would have been a cool present, I wished it had worked."

Harry, being more tactful than Ron, decided that it was best not to question the brothers' personal life and instead allowed them to continue rambling on about 'the old days'. These reminiscences were interrupted by All is One about an hour later. "I have an appointment with someone in five minutes, you should be getting back. Your friends are probably worried."

Ed leapt to his feet. "I thought you paused time!"

"I never said I stopped time in _your_ world, did I? Just his. Now shoo. Harry, you shouldn't be procrastinating about saving the world either."

While Harry disappeared, the Elrics ended up being pulled through the Gate instead. "Wait a minute, what about the price for bringing Al back?" Edward yelled.

"I got to eat and drink, plus the light show. I think that was enough. Goodbye, Mr. Al-che-mist!"

The doors slammed shut.

* * *

 _ **9/28/2015 !This chapter has been edited! There is an 'a' somewhere in it that needs to be capitalized, if you spot it please inform me as to where it is hiding.**_

 **I don't know when Al's Birthday really is. So, whatever. XD**

 **I enjoyed writing this immensely, I hope you liked reading it! Please leave me your thoughts - If you don't, World Universe God Truth All One Me will force you to drink salt water.**

 **-Kareha**


	2. Chapter 2

**Since four people followed this story, I decided to add one more chapter. So this is a two-shot now. Enjoy.**

* * *

It had been almost an hour now, and Fullmetal still wasn't back yet. So you know what Mustang did? He ordered Hohenheim to draw a Human Transmutation circle.

He resisted, of course (I'm your elder, respect me!), but he managed to get through to him eventually.

Once he said he was done, Mustang clapped my hands and put them on the ground. Nothing happened.

"Um . . ." Winry coughed. "You didn't put your hands on the circle." She guided him to the matrix, and he clapped again. This time, something _did_ happen. Roy Mustang stood once again in that blank, empty space, the Gate looming above him. And he could see again.

What he saw surprised him, however. Truth (that bastard) was cleaning up what appeared to be the remains of a Birthday party.

"Where are the Elrics brothers?" the Flame Alchemist demanded.

The Universe looked up. "Oh, sorry, you just missed 'em." He indicated the Gate, which had just closed.

 _Dammit!_ the Colonel thought. _Great._ _Just great. This was a waste of time, and now I have to miss the epic family reunion where everyone is all excited about Alphonse getting his body back. I bet he's really skinny. And I'm getting off topic now._

"Well - what are you doing?"

"The Al-che-mists had a Birthday party for the skinny one, and one of my clients joined them. And for some reason I can't just snap my fingers and make their mess disappear, so I have to clean it up by hand. And to top it all off, I have an appointment with another person in five minutes." He glanced at an entirely white watch. "Make that four."

"Need any help? Wait, what am I saying? There's no way I'm helping _you!_ "

All pouted. "Why not? I could use it, I can't be late."

"Because you're a bastard. There's no way I'd ever help something like you."

"Well, have you looked in a mirror lately Flame Al-che-mist?"

Roy scowled, then blinked when a sudden realization came to mind. "Wait, where did they get all of these supplies?"

Truth stuffed the Birthday hat into a trash bag. "Elric the Older decided that the whiteness around us is nothing and everything. So he transmuted it with alchemy." A plate was added to the garbage. "I let them go with no more of a price than allowing me a drink and letting me watch the light show."

Mustang raised his eyebrows. "For allowing you a drink? Light show? What the heck?"

"Yeah, yeah. Two minutes left."

"I'm still not helping."

"Fine." The leftover cake was thrown at him. "I don't need help, anyway. I'm You One All Truth God Universe World, I'm too powerful to need assistance."

The Hero of Ishval sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, and, after a bit of thought, strode over to the table and picked up one of the folding chairs. And then Hohenheim appeared.

"Oh, the five minutes are up," World said helpfully.

"Yeah, thanks for the warning," Roy muttered, his voice thick with sarcasm. "Not that it was useful in any way."

Hohenheim didn't seem surprised. When Roy asked why, he explained. "My sons told me all about the party." He took out a camera and snapped a photo. "Ed guessed that you would end up helping God Universe World You One All Truth clean up, so he threatened me into getting a picture. I obliged, as you can see."

A demonic aura seemed to surround Truth, and the gate opened, dragging the camera into its depths. Hohenheim grabbed at it desperately, but it was all in vain.

He transmuted another camera and caught a second picture, this one more ridiculous than the last. "There, now Ed won't have an excuse to kill me."

Mustang dropped the chair and set it, the other chairs, and the table aflame. (Hohenheim got another photo.) After this, he dragged the Xerxesian into a corner. Not sure where that came from. "Why did you really come here?" he hissed. "It's only been a few minutes, so you couldn't have been worried about me. Snapping a picture couldn't have been it."

Von sighed. "Fine, I wanted to claim the rest of the cake. Alphonse said it was really good."

"You can't trust him, Hohenheim. He hasn't tasted in years."

The blond rubbed his chin. "Good point. I'll have him grounded for the rest of my life, which won't be long."

"I don't think that's necessary. He's weak enough as it is, that should be enough of a punishment."

The old man seemed to give this a moment of thought before deciding that yes, Mustang was correct. He didn't truly know how long the rest of his life would be, so he couldn't guarantee that his son would not be grounded for five years. "Yes, you're right. I'll ground him for one week, _after_ he's back to full health, or halfway there."

Mustang face-palmed, muttered something under his breath, and walked away. "Can I get a ticket to Amestris?" he asked Truth. "I'm tired of being stuck in the waiting area with that idiot over there." He jerked his head at Hohenheim.

"Sure, just give me a minute, I'm on cleaning duty," came the World's sarcastic reply. Mustang was pulled into the Gate three seconds later with some muttered thanks. Truth threw the (full) bag of trash after him before turning to Hohenheim. "I'm sending you off to Harry Potter's world, see you later. You can perform the ultimate cliche of taking on the name 'Nicolas Flamel' while in the past and create a new kind of Philosopher's stone blah blah blah.

The doors slammed closed on the bespectacled man's muffled protests.

Truth sighed with relief. Finally, some peace and quiet. Unfortunately, he had another appointment in one hour.

Being the overseer of the universe(s) really sucked sometimes.

* * *

 **Look what I've done, gone and planted the idea of a sequel about Hohenheim in my mind. Greaaaat.**

 **I'm wondering, should I do other stories like this with other fandoms? Lemme know, if you think so. That rhymed. Ha.**

 **-Kareha**


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